Chapter Forty-Two
Lila wasn’t trying to push Herman away. If someone had asked her why she let Fred into the house, she would have said that she was just being polite. He needed a place to eat lunch, so why not? It was nice to have a conversation with another adult.
Many of the houses in that area were set close to the woods. It was very hilly, so the flat parts needed to be reserved for the fields, which were mostly for corn, oats, and hay. Vilas and Evelyn’s house was at the edge of their largest field, but the little house where Lila and Herman lived was tucked into the edge of the bluff. Although the front yard got plenty of sun, the back yard was always in the shade and the ground was covered with a thick layer of fallen oak leaves and pine needles. It attracted mice and snakes, so Lila preferred to stay in the front.
One day when Fred arrived for lunch, they were still inside the house. The children were playing with a kitten that Herman had rescued from the barn. Fred said, Could you come with me for a second? There’s something I want to show you.
Lila followed him to the back of the house, thinking he had seen a snake or maybe a deer. Instead, he cradled her head in his hands and passionately kissed her on the mouth. After a few moments, he let go and said, I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.
With a whisper, Lila replied, Don’t stop.
Fred put his arms around her, and they leaned against the house, quietly making love.
It was challenging to find time alone. Lila constantly worried that Herman would come home or the children would see them, but she craved being with Fred. It felt so good to be in his embrace. He said the most gentle and loving things. You’re such a beautiful woman, Lila.
I love being with you.
She knew that it was wrong to have an affair with a man who was not her husband, yet she couldn’t help wanting to be together. Lila loved the Schneider family and felt a deep sense of love and acceptance that was lacking from her own family, but as Veda had predicted, she was not a good match with her husband. Fred was closer to her age, and they could talk with an ease that she and Herman had never achieved.
One day when he finished eating lunch he said, Would you like to hear a song?
Myrtle Joyce clapped her hands and said, Yes, a song!
He laughed and started singing:
My young love said to me, “My mother won’t mind,
and my father won’t slight you for your lack of kind.”
Then she slipped away from me, and this she did say
It will not be long, love, ’till our wedding day.
Lila had not heard any music for months. Fred’s voice was breathtaking, but the song sent chills up her spine. The young love
turned out to be a ghost calling for her love to join her. Where did you learn that?
she gasped.
He grinned and said, My mother is Irish. I think she learned it as a child. Did you like it?
Johnny chimed in with his sweet little voice and said, More!
The next song was more upbeat, but it was also about two lovers.
Come won’t you walk with me, Griselda,
wearing the dress that moonlight shines through.
I am a sad and lonely boy,
since your mother said I couldn’t see you.
Slip into the woods in the dark of the night,
Call to the moon out yonder:
Oh, lady moon, won’t you shine a silver light
and lead me to my Griselda.
Lila blushed. What if someone heard what he was singing? He was practically advertising their love affair. Lila turned to look for Alice, and there was Herman, standing at the edge of the front yard. Fred stood up from where he had been sitting and said, You must be Mr. Schneider.
He held out his hand, but Herman refused to shake it. I guess I better be going now,
he said with a strained cheerfulness. Herman’s face was darker than usual. He stared at Fred as he walked down the path. When he was out of sight, Herman said, I’ll be back for dinner.
The tension was thick that night in the house. Lila was not hungry, and the children were unusually quiet. When he finished eating, Herman said, Fred Hicks will not be coming back to this house. If you want to mail a letter, give it to Evelyn.
Lila’s heart was thumping hard in her chest. How much did Herman know? Did Evelyn tell him something? When they went to bed, Herman slept facing the wall. He didn’t raise his voice or make any other demands, but he was clearly angry. For weeks he said almost nothing. On the outside, Lila was calm. On the inside, she was screaming, Yes, I had an affair! Say something about it! Get angry! Was it so wrong wanting to be held and loved?
Lila wanted to be more than just a mother and a housewife. For a brief time, she had that with Fred. Now he was gone, and the silence was deafening.
Notes
When I was in college, I performed with a student-led folk music group. Many Irish ballads are about romance, drinking, and/or war; the songs I quoted from are two of my favorites. Although I found the name Fred Hicks
in the 1940 census for West Salem (he was the right age for this character), I have no idea if he worked as a postal carrier or ever met Lila. An affair with the mailman
is a classic trope, but it could have been true in this case.
I married a little earlier than Lila, just before I turned 21. I wish I had spent more time thinking about my upbringing and what I might want as a mother. My hopes and expectations for family life turned out to be very different from my husband’s. I never had an affair, but I understand why some people do. Like my grandfather, I found my (now former) husband difficult to know and connect with.
For more information, see Jerry Apps1, Peter Kennedy2, and Alvin Martin Peterson3.