Chapter Thirty-Four
By the time Lila arrived at Myrtle’s house, she had already gone to bed. Lila knocked on the front door several times with no answer. Just when she was starting to think she might have to go back to Veda’s house, the light flipped on.
Lila, what are you doing here at this time of the night?
Lila blurted out, I had a big fight with Veda and stormed off. Can I stay with you?
Of course,
Myrtle said. You must be freezing. Come in and I’ll make you a cup of tea.
For the rest of the week, Lila slept on Myrtle’s sofa. Although she had told Veda where she was going, nobody went looking for her. Lila kept expecting a knock on the door. When it finally happened, it was just the milkman. She didn’t want to have another fight, but the lack of concern was making her feel sick to her stomach. Didn’t the family care about her? On Friday, Myrtle said that Viola would be coming for a visit. What kind of pie do you think we should make?
Um…apple, I guess?
said Lila. Her heart was not in it.
When Viola walked in the next morning, she said, Lila! I’m surprised to see you here.
Unsure how to explain, she just said, Good to see you, Viola.
Myrtle had been getting dressed when Viola drove up. As she walked into the kitchen, she said, We have so many things to talk about! Let me make the coffee and then we’ll go into the living room.
As Lila ate two slices of pie and considered taking a third, Myrtle told Viola about her fight with Veda in a way that was very sympathetic to Lila’s position. She was touched that Myrtle was being such a good friend. Viola was wearing a necklace with a tiny gold cross. As she listened, she rubbed the cross between her thumb and index finger. When Myrtle finished, Viola turned to Lila and said, I understand what Veda is saying, but marrying Herman is the right thing to do. With the war going on, it’s so hard to find young men to marry right now. You wouldn’t have been able to forgive yourself if that baby grew up without you.
They decided that Lila should live in West Salem with the Schneiders until she gave birth.
Lila was worried that they would get to West Salem and the Schneiders would refuse to take her in, but Viola had correctly predicted how her mother- and father-in-law would respond. They not only accepted Lila but also welcomed her to stay. Alice immediately made a place for her to sleep in the children’s bedroom with Gladys. Lila thought that after a few days, they would start asking questions. Why was she unmarried? Who was the baby’s father? Wasn’t there someone else in La Crosse who could take care of her? She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. Edward and Alice treated her like one of their own beloved daughters.
By the first week of June, Lila had loosened her dresses as far as they could go. It was getting difficult to sleep through the night. Her hips and back felt like they were on fire, but the dreams were the worst part, especially a recurring nightmare about giving birth to a monster that ripped its way out of her body. She kept waking up drenched in sweat even though it was still cold at night. West Salem was so quiet compared to La Crosse; it magnified the sounds of her own breathing and heartbeat. Then the questions would start. Was Herman really going to marry her? Did she want him to? Where was Lloyd? Where was Daniel? In the daytime, she could distract herself with chores and talking to Alice and Gladys, but the nighttime was lonely. She spent many hours lying on her mattress, listening to the chorus of frogs and trying to forget about everything. It was maddening to be so tired, yet unable to sleep.
One humid afternoon, she was hanging laundry on the clothesline when her water broke. The liquid ran down her legs and made streaks on her dusty, bare feet. Gladys was with her and noticed her standing by the basket in shock. I think it’s time!
she said with excitement. She ran inside to get her mother, who came outside and gave Lila a little hug. Don’t worry, dear!
she said. Edward will get the midwife and I’ll take you inside to get cleaned up.
A tear ran down Lila’s cheek and Alice put her arm around her.
The midwife was a tiny, old woman. She was older than Alice and had delivered Gladys, Bobby, and Nora’s son, David. She gently examined Lila and said, This is going to take some time, dear.
She announced that she would be back the next day. Lila was relieved. She was in no hurry to deliver the baby. As it turned out, the baby was in no hurry either. Thursday passed, then Friday…and finally, on Saturday it was time. The pain was so much worse than anything Lila had experienced before. For several months afterward, just thinking about it made her cry. How did women do this? Nora took over the household chores so Alice and Gladys could stay with her. As the baby was coming out, they held her legs and gave her words of encouragement.
At last, the midwife said, One final big push!
The midwife placed the baby on Lila’s belly. It was so tiny and perfect. A baby girl. Alice said a prayer, and Gladys left the room to tell everyone the good news. The midwife said, Good work, mama! While I’m cleaning you up that beautiful girl is going to want some milk.
The baby had stopped crying and turned to look at Lila’s face. Hello, sweet angel.
She could hardly believe that she was a mother now.
Lila decided to name her Myrtle Joyce. She wanted to give her the Schneider name, but two months later when she went to La Crosse to register the birth, the clerk pinched her lips and said, Since you’re not married, the baby should have your name.
Lila felt like she wanted to disappear through the floor. She did not list a father on the birth certificate.
Herman had dropped her off with Myrtle for the day. When she told her what the clerk had said, Myrtle replied, Don’t worry about it. You’ll be married soon enough.
She put her finger on the tip of the baby’s nose. Isn’t that right, little Myrtle Joyce?
She was thrilled that Lila had named the baby after her. To celebrate the birth, they had lunch in a cafe across from the courthouse. So,
said Myrtle. What are you planning for the wedding?
Lila looked out the window. I don’t know. I haven’t thought much about it.
Myrtle said, Why don’t we look for a wedding dress today?
I guess,
said Lila. She was wearing one of the maternity dresses and suddenly realized that it would be a challenge to shop. She had gained a lot of weight.
Myrtle had seen advertisements in the newspaper for a new bridal store that was only one block away from the courthouse. Before Lila could object, they were standing in front of Fields. She pushed open the door, and a saleswoman immediately walked over. Welcome! Which one of you lovely young ladies is the bride-to-be?
The room smelled like lilacs and the walls were covered with photographs of brides in elegant dresses. Myrtle took the baby from her arms and nudged her forward. Lila blushed and quietly said, That’s me.
Without pausing, the woman cheerfully continued. How marvelous! Follow me to a dressing room and we can get started.
When the saleswoman left the room, Myrtle whispered, This is so fancy!
Lila was nervously eyeing the enormous three-way mirror in the corner.
When the saleswoman returned, she had a tray of tea and cookies, and a measuring tape around her neck. There was a stack of books on a table by the door, and she handed one of them to Lila. Embossed in gold letters, the cover said, Wedding Embassy Yearbook. This is for you to keep,
said the saleswoman. It’s filled with good advice for planning your wedding and honeymoon. Do you know what kind of budget you’re going to have?
As she was talking, she directed Lila to raise her arms slightly so she could string the tape measure around her chest, waist, and hips.
Lila was starting to panic about undressing. She felt so embarrassed about the size of her body and the ugly stretchmarks that now covered her belly. Well,
Lila stammered, I’m not really sure.
The saleswoman was being polite, but Lila thought she must be judging her.
That’s alright dear,
she replied in a cheerful tone. Many brides need time to speak with their parents and fiancé about what they can afford. I’ll finish taking your measurements and then I’ll show you some of the styles for dresses. Do you have a date for the wedding?
When they left the store an hour later, Lila was exhausted. The saleswoman, whose name was Katherine, was like a human windstorm. She had never stopped moving; she barely stopped talking long enough to hear Lila’s responses. Mercifully, she had not asked Lila to undress. She explained that the dresses were just samples; once they received a deposit, they would make her dress to order. (Unless she was in a hurry? The saleswoman looked relieved that Lila was not.) It was hot that afternoon and the baby was getting fussy. Myrtle suggested that they hire a taxi and go back to the house to wait for Herman. Lila agreed and handed her a dollar for the fare.
Lila had mixed feelings about being in her old neighborhood. She missed the bustle and excitement of the city, but she had not seen anyone from her family in more than three months. Veda had mailed several letters to Myrtle’s house, but Lila couldn’t bear to open them. She was still overwhelmed with anger and shame. Did the Slabacks have any idea that she was in West Salem? Probably not. She wondered if any of them would attend her wedding.
Love to Lila, From Myrtle
Notes
In 1944, when Lila was an unwed mother who kept her baby and did not give it up for adoption, that was an extremely unusual decision for a woman in the United States to make. Such babies were described as illegitimate
and their mothers were often denied support by their families, communities, and the government. So why did Edward and Alice Schneider accept Lila into their family, knowing that she was pregnant and Herman was not the biological father? I suspect the main reason is that Herman was already thirty-six years old and had never been married. Lila gave him an opportunity to have an instant family and was clearly fertile; she could have more children with Herman. It’s also possible that the Schneiders’ faith motivated them to be charitable; they may have viewed the marriage as saving Lila and her baby from adoption.
My description of Lila’s birth is based on my own experiences with unmedicated childbirth. Although I had grown up in a small town, I remember being shocked by the absence of sound when I moved from St. Paul, Minnesota to Bloomington, Indiana in 2004. It was so quiet that I could hear my husband’s heart beating in the middle of the night. Large masses of frogs can be surprisingly noisy!
Fields department store was new to La Crosse. With a major army base nearby (Fort McCoy), I imagine there were a lot of brides in La Crosse who needed quick wedding dresses in the 1940s. I bought a 1939 copy of the Wedding Embassy Yearbook online from a used bookseller.
For more information, see Cutright. Phillips1, Vicki Howard2, Judith Walzer Leavitt3, and Kathleen York4.
“Historical and Contemporary Trends in Illegitimacy,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 2, no. 2 (1972): 97–118.↩︎
Brides, Inc.: American Weddings and the Business of Tradition (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008).↩︎
Brought to Bed: Childbearing in America, 1750–1950 (Oxford University Press, 2016).↩︎
Bridal Fashion 1900–1950: The American Wedding Dress (London: Bloomsbury, 2012).↩︎